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Get Cougarlicious

cougar by papapishu - Source: <a href=

Practically every gal who's over forty or so in Hollywood is doing it, so, if you want to lead an adventurous, celebrity-style life,  you should too.  Get Cougarlicious, I mean.  

Demi Moore was 15 years older than Ashton Kucher.  Word has it she's got a new guy who is 12 years younger. Susan Sarandon got rid of much younger partner, Tim Robbins, and took up with a guy even younger, a 31 year old . Mira Sorvino is 14 years older than her hubby. Fifty-four year old Sharon Stone has a hunky, Australian, 27 year old beau. Nick Cannon is 14 years younger than wife, Mariah Carey. Madonna has evidently made a pact with herself to never date another guy over thirty.  Her current boyfriend is 24.  Soon, she'll be fighting it out with daughter, Lourdes, over the cute guy they met down at the gym.  J Lo's backup dancer honey, Casper, is also 24. 

So, in a desperate cry to make folks think you are still young, hot, and relevant in order to keep up with these Hollywood Divas and show the world that you, too, are sexy, and desirable, you need to immediately dump your significant other and hook up with your very own younger man.  I hear Robert Pattinson is back on the market. 

You will, of course, THANK ME LATER!

Note: I never said I was going to take my own advice; I only said I was going to tell you how to live a fabulous, amazing, celebrity-style one. I personally already have a boy toy since my DH is 46 days younger than me. Anyway, even if I weren't already a bit of a cougar, I am much too busy and set in my ways to go around trying to romance a younger man. Besides, from my personal experience as mother to 21 and 24 year old guys, they are messy, eat too much, don't always smell great, and don't even leave the house to go out to a party until about 10:00 or 11:00.  As someone who goes to bed about 9:30 (to SLEEP), I don't really think I could manage hours like that. And, you could probably guess this about me by now: if I was back on the market, I'd be more interested in a guy who looked like this:

1 comment:

  1. I agree with you-I don't have the energy to be a cougar . . . or even a jaguar. I don't even think I could keep up with an elephant!