Helpful Definitions

Humor: The quality of being amusing or comic, esp. as expressed in literature or speech. Sarcasm: The use of irony to mock or convey contempt.

YTML GEAR! (Coming to a Blog Near You Really, Really Soon!)

I have recently learned that the hot new trend for us Lifestyle Guru types is to have a "collection" curated by us for you to buy as you travel on your journey to living an exciting and awesome life. These items are supposed to be so great that you will open up your wallet and send me wads of cash.  Or, maybe they're just supposed to have that cachet that comes with being able to say you bought it here.  Not that it matters. What matters is that I can overcharge provide you with stuff you don't really need or want just have to have because I, your personal lifestyle guru, is the one shilling selling it.

Now, don't run over there and waste your money on her stuff, but as an example of what I'm talking about, you should check out 18 foot tall, 72 pound Gwenyth Paltrow's collection at GOOP.COM.  There you will find jeans that cost you $200, a plain white tee for $90, and a couple of string bikinis that will set you back $185 each.  Buy these at your own risk, gentle readers, because I guarantee that if you do, you will see yourself coming and going. Plus, I hate to break it to you, but 99% of you will not look very good in those bikinis.  They are made for gals shaped like Gwenyth, and let's face it, that ain't you or me.

Nope, what you need to do is save up your money for the fabulous YTML gear that I'm going to be rolling out really, really soon.  Trust me, you're going to love it.  In fact, if you want to be assured that you'll get it, you should probably just send me a couple of hundred dollars right now. That way, you'll be first in line when I get my line curated.

As always,  You'll Thank Me Later

BTW:  I am thinking about including one of these with every purchase. What do you think?


  1. hahahaha!
    humble suggestion--toss in one those pics with every "pre-sale" (big wink)

  2. The check's in the mail! But are you including just the PICTURE of those guys or one of the guys themselves? And do I get a choice of which guy?